Hot Bitches in Fiji: The Real Post

You may remember my orgasmic post two weeks ago about Stacy, the hot Korean contestant in the latest iteration of Survivor. I was busy last Thursday nigth and actually went so far as to tape the episode, thinking the show's producers would do me right and find an excuse to trot out Stacy in her skimpy bikini number again. No such luck.

What they did, however, was present Stacy's dark side. Dark side, you ask, of a hottie? Oh yeah, you heard right. It's that nasty, base side of your personality that'll compel you to not show your tribe mates how to use a French press coffeemaker and give witheringly condescending instructions on its use because some people are obvioiusly too stupid to be alive. Wow, that was a shocker. I wasn't expecting Stacy to be an amiable bobblehead like Michelle, but I sure as hell didn't expect her to be so rude to Dreamz, Alex and Cassandra, over a coffeemaker of all things. The official Survivor forums were aflame, I tell ya! Forum posters were crying bigotry and all manner of extreme, Internet forum-y accusations.

It goes without saying that the show's producers edited the shit out of that scene for maximum impact, just like they do with everything else. There is, just like with the most ignorant generalisations, a grain of truth to what is being depicted. You can't fake Stacy's bitchy (yet still sexy) facial expressions and Alex's subsequent bitching about Stacy and her unexplainable bitchiness for not helping out with the French press. God, what a bitch. And how badly I want to poke her all the same.

With any luck, I'll be treated to a couple more lingering bikini-ass shots of Stacy before her inevitable elimination. Too soon to call? Maybe. After 13 seasons, I can safely proclaim that Rule #1 of Survivor (well, it could be Rule #2 or #3... Top 5 for sure) is this: don't piss people off. Simple enough, right? I don't care if your tribe is destroying the other team in the challenges and you're getting fat and lazy. If you're intentionally not teaching your friends how to use a French press, you better have some kind of master game plan going on in your head. Right now, Stacy looks like she's fat and lazy, and by that I mean she is silky and smooth but taking her tribe's success fully for granted.

So once again, a note, or rather, a plea to the show's producers: If she's heading out, get her naked first. Thank you, much appreciated.

/end horndogg rant