Ultimate... Ass Handing on a Plate

The ClinTicker 2000 will be fully functional again tomorrow (Friday) after a lengthy period of inactivity.

But today, I wanted to talk about the art of whipping a frisbee around a grassy field.

Oh, I've the usual experience of passing a frisbee back and forth among friends, thanks to something called a childhood and a modest string of beach BBQs and backyard parties where I wasn't content to just sit and eat charred meats all day. It's the tossing of a frisbee, oh pardon me, a disc in a coordinated manner that has me a little stumped.

I played my very first game of Ultimate last night with a pickup group I hooked up with through a cute girl at my dining club. It's a fun, running-intensive game that has uncovered some terrible truths about my body. First, I'm still way out of shape. Second, I'm not a limber 18-year old any more. Actually, I'll call cop out on my second admission there. Age is not the issue. J., a fellow dining club member who was also at at the game, is a few years my senior and is in phenomenal shape. No, I think I can admit that although I've jumped back on the Fitness World bandwagon, no amount of grinding away on the ellipticals could prepare me for the Ultimate full frontal assault on my cardiovascular endurance.

There really is no substitute for getting outside, getting your hands and knees dirty and engaging your entire body in a singular mission of chasing down an airborne plastic disc. I suppose it didn't help that both teams played grossly short-handed for most of the evening. We kicked off several rounds 3-on-3, before a couple stragglers boosted us up to a 4-on-4 skirmish. Suffice it to say, a lot more running around required of all players as opposed to a proper regulation game of 7 players per team, with substitutes!

Look closely and you'll pick me out on the field. I'm the guy most likely bent over, hands on knees, and panting after every touchdown. That is the same guy who also had a penchant for skidding on the damp grass with his crappy runners, botching give n' go passes and launching wobbly discs way out of bounds, clearing the reach of any teammate by a good kilometer or three.

Thankfully, this wasn't a league game and everyone was casual about the game, despite the drubbing my team received for the longest time and even after we took a mercy trade for a better player/captain. No matter how many passes I fumbled or overshot, someone was there to offer encouragement or helpful advice. And thank god for that. It motivated me enough to pull off a few impressive scoring assists as well as a touchdown of my own early in the night. Ah, the glory of the sport. The spirit of the game!

My legs felt like death when we packed up at 9:00pm sharp. That was almost 2 hours of uninterrupted running around like a headless chicken. And today, I feel pretty useless. My legs are sore in new and interesting regions and even my lower back has joined the party. Will I go back next week? Probably. The people are good and with any luck, the weather will hold out for a while longer. Some of the players are fairly experienced, so if we're feeling ambitious we can form a team and join one of the many leagues in town for some real competition.

Me, I'll be happy to contribute disc-fumbling skills any day of the week. BRING IT.