"Whoa" - Body Sparkles are HAWT

So I'm watching this TV show after dinner, something called, Dancing with the Stars. In its 3rd season already and very much a product of the mid-00s... in fact all these reality contest shows will be looked back on in ten years as being "soooo '00s!!!". Whether you pronounce "Ohs" or "zero zero" would be entirely up to you and your future self.

I've never watched this show before. The most noteworthy feature of Dancing Season 2 was former WWE star, Stacy Keibler and her glorious, endless legs. I still didn't watch the show for her, but I spent enough time trolling the celebrity gossip and horndogg weblogs to get the gist of it.

So, there I am watching and a few things were readily apparent: some of these dancers are pretty hot, and I had no idea Joey Lawrence is still, or ever, considered an actor. Sporting a chrome dome and admittedly, a pretty chiselled physique, Mr. "Whoa" from Blossom was paired off with Latin dance expert, Edyta. Edyta is Polish and smokin'. She's got a weird, narrow face but that's forgiveable because of her tight rump and nice legs. She spent a lot of time wearing these gigantic leg warmers, however, which really detracted from her overall hotness. Points deducted. Oh yeah, their dance routine was okay, I think...

Later on, some retired NFL legend and dancer, Cheryl Burke took to the stage to do the bunny hop or cha-cha, or whatever... and my mouth was watering. Burke, along with Drew Lachey, is the Season 2 reigning champ and it didn't strike me until then how someone can look cute and sexy all at once. Well, she pulls it off. Petite, funky hair and all smiles, Cheryl Burke is the picture of cuteness. Then I realized that outfit of hers that made her look half-naked (that's what happens with those backless dresses) and the ample bosoms liberally sprinkled with sparkle dust. Uuuggghh. Yeah, that's the sound of me drooling. Man o man. The guy who invented sparkle dust for girls deserves a Nobel Prize, right next to the guy who invented high heels. The world recognizes your contributions to mankind, good sirs.

Bonus round: Burke and NFL guy really impressed the judges, so they will advance at least into the next week. Hot diggity. Next episode, they perform the tango, with Burke wearing nothing but sparkles. Now that's dancing!

Update: The time-wasting, ratings-grabbing results show aired tonight and what do you know, there was an encore of the cha-cha with Cheryl Burke and Emmit Smith. They cloned last night's dance step for step, but I didn't care. Cheryl was wearing the same backless dress, which looked uglier tonight since actually noticing all the yellow tassel, frilly things. But dayooom, she still looked tasty. Definitely a fine balance between the Large Parts and LMB.